I turned 25 in a different country. I’d like to say it was some life-changing event, but it wasn’t. That isn’t to say it wasn’t a nice experience. It simply wasn’t what I expected. Whilst I did not feel a dramatic sense of change I did feel an immense amount of mediocrity. It was as if I had split into two or more versions of myself. The person I was in the present and the person I wanted to become. I went to two different cities and countries for my birthday. Paris in France, and Porto in Portugal. Each trip was a different experience of what growing up felt like. Paris was a nostalgic feeling of leaving the old youthful me behind, whilst indulging my mother. Porto was the dream of what I hope my life would be.
Having a quarter-life crisis is less of a crisis and more of disappointment at your progress in life. It is based on a fictional image constructed indirectly by society, peer, and parents. The mind traps you in an inescapable and overwhelming feeling of defeat. A constantly tells you “you haven’t done enough”, “you aren’t good enough”, “what are you doing with your life?”. I feel stagnant. The conversations about life are stagnant, the job I work in is stagnant, and the life I’m leading, in general, feels stagnant. There are no winds of change on the horizon that I see, simply the seemingly unreachable. I don’t know how to make progress, I don’t know how to elicit change but that is okay.
I don’t have any profound words of wisdom to share today or any insights that would stir a particular emotion. I’m waiting for future me to emerge, but the present me is getting stagnant in the process. I simply felt melancholy and wanted to share some cool pictures from my holiday. So my job here is done.